#innovation#OfficeLife#wellbeing#future#environment#ecology#Architecture#technology#Smartoffice#Design#Trends#Interior#interview#indispensables#funny#Newoffice#tree#records#homeoffice#development#Prague#Bestoffice#start-up#smartlight#inquiry#coworking#certification#air-condition#Skyscraper#Love#Construction#winter#whitecollar#vocabulary#temperature#table#sport#robot#research#psychology#president#party#parttime#paperless#paperclip#nutrition#newspeak#internet#illness#hotdesking#energy#elevator#competition#cleandesk#Women#Skanska#Reception#Plastic-free#Millennials#Microsoft#London#Kettle#India#Hotel#Furniture#Christmas#Berlin#Apple#Amazon#Office#sustainability#skyscraper#open-space#bezplastu#Parking#Competition#Android
#funny

A Pencil Pusher's Vocabulary: The real meaning of words you use at work

Article March 27, 2018  |  Text by Nina Černá Text by Nina Černá

The new age requires new speak. Learn these 15 words and phrases that will help you survive in the merciless jungle of modern offices.

DEADLINE

The time to start working on a project.

BUSINESS TRIP

A one-day or multi-day paid vacation, often in a company car.

CHIP/CHIP CARD

A preventive medical device monitoring how often every employee urinates.

PRESENTATION

A simple message usually described on 80 slides.

15TH DAY OF THE MONTH

The magic date when all employees’ loyalty reaches the highest point.

SICK DAY

Usually the 16th day of the month.

OPEN SPACE

An office space sometimes also dubbed a chicken factory farm. The idea is to pack as many computers and people in one place, regardless of how they feel about it. Cages are no longer used; however, night lights help to increase productivity. The space is known for its noise, so-called clucking.

REORGANIZATION

The HR department’s favorite board game, sometimes also called Sorry 2. Its goal is to check whether or not employees have a sense of orientation in the building. Those who fail can at least look for the way to the closest unemployment office.

COPIER

The place where gossiping about colleagues is reproduced. It is recommended not to make black and white copies, but to use the entire color spectrum.

OVERTIME

A situation where an employee does not feel like going home.

BRAINSTORMING

An unlimited period of time, during which everybody talks at the same time. People should not use such words as “It is stupid”, “Boring” and “You must have tripped over a stapler this morning because it made a hole in your brain.”

WORKSHOP

Brainstorming using color stickers.

RECEPTION DESK

The most important place in the entire firm where you can ask for new color stickers or highlighters at any time.

SMOKE BREAK

A 10-minute healthy outing with a group of employees outside the office building. A company strategy for the next ten years is often resolved during this activity.

MEETING

An unlimited period of time during which an employee does not have to work. It is recommended to drink a lot of coffee so that you would not go into sleep mode before your notebook does. It is also good to ask at any time what the budget and the deadline will be.