The good news is that office people are a class of their own. The bad news is that we are talking about a school class. When in school, you cannot wait to be part of the free world only to find out that an office environment is in fact just like school. See for yourself:
You spend most of your energy right in the morning, thinking about an excuse why you are late. School and the first meeting should start at 10.00 a.m. at the earliest. At the earliest!
And on the way to work you are thinking even harder about whether or not others will gossip about what you are wearing.
Clothes are still a problem – when in school, it was embarrassing to wear slippers and a gym suit, now everything is surveyed by the fashion police with a dress code.
You have your dedicated section of a shared desk, into which things of your neighbors always spill. It is about time to build high barricades!
When you look around, you see the same types of people: an unbearable nerd, an introverted weirdo, an elitist with expensive shoes, a sexy bitch and a bunch of assholes.
You get bossed around by a person in charge who is hard to respect because he does not know much.
You cannot wait for the weekend. You get depressed every Sunday night because the next day you must go there again.
Once in a while you at least pretend to be sick so that you could stay at home. Back then you put a thermometer in a cup of hot tea, now your success lies in a well-formulated sms.
Home office is a more mature way of skipping school. You claim to be somewhere else than where you actually plan to be. And your plan certainly does not include any hard work.
The desire to artistically express your innermost feelings gets the better of you especially when someone talks or has a presentation.
You bring home homework that prevents you from going out with friends.
Once in a while they ask you to stand in front of the blackboard (or a flipchart), even though you have nothing to say.
Even if you do your very best, your written text is returned to you with notes and you are to correct it.
When you get incidentally praised, it is done publicly. And others smirk at you.
You get a big evaluation of your performance at least once a year. Your reward used to be a trip to a sweetshop, now you get buttered up heavily.
You are always looking for a pen that works.
Once a year you must participate in teambuilding, which is in fact an open-air school where people drink alcohol in secret.
Your parents do not understand you. Either because they do not understand what you did all day long or because you use too many strange words.
“So, how did it go today?” they ask you when you get home.
And what do you answer? “OK.”