Heading off on a vacation that’s already feeling too short? Break convention with a bold autoreply email—you can take the ones here for inspiration. You just might find that by day two, your vacation has gone permanent. Because you’ve been fired!
Hello. I’ve got all this week off. So if you need to communicate with me specifically, then you’ve got it off too. Let’s write once we get back, OK? Have fun!
I’m afraid I’m not here—I’m in the hospital until the end of the week undergoing brain surgery. As soon as I return, I’ll be able to handle your message like a true manager.
Hello. Have you ever wondered what you’d do without me? Welp, here you are…
Unfortunately, I can’t react to your email right now—I’m out of the office and hiding from someone. I’ll answer as soon as I can. Unless the person I’m hiding from is you.
After ten months of hard work, I’m finally taking time off. I can’t reach my email. If you feel like your message absolutely can’t wait, send it on Twitter. Please mark it with the hashtag #RuiningAllTheFun.
Sorry, but I’m on vacation right now, and thus not working. Fortunately, I don’t make much, and so I’ll have to come back some day.
Hi there! I’ve taken a vacation. You should take one too. Relaxation is important, and you’re stuck without me anyway.
I’m unavailable for reasons of well-being until July 30th. After I get back, please call me “Roberta,” not “Rob.”
Sorry, I’m not here right now—I’m currently interviewing for jobs at other companies. Please contact one of my teammates, because if it ends up being me who answers you, it’s not going to look pretty. Thanks for understanding.
I’ll be out of the office until July 14th and won’t be able to respond to your message. If you can’t wait until then, you might want to find more engaging work.
I’ve left for the seaside, where it will be my mission to drink nonstop. Answering emails in the resulting state might not be the best idea, so please wait until my return.
I’m on vacation in Las Vegas. At the casino. Please hold on until I return. Immediately afterwards, I’ll fix your problem by buying your company and immediately taking over its management.
Unfortunately I won’t be in the office for a few days. If something’s on fire, please call the fire department.
I may be out of the office, but have no fear: I’ll be working on your message as soon as I’ve handled the ones before it.
Your message’s current queue position is: 376. You can expect a reply in roughly: 19 weeks.
Hello! I’m sending you this message because I’m not at the office. If I were at the office, I probably wouldn’t be replying at all.
I’m out of the office right now. If your message is important, please contact one of my teammates. If it isn’t important, please think about why you’re sending it.